"A mentor is someone who allows you to see hope in yourself"
-Oprah Winfrey
I attended a University that was huge on community service. Over the 4 years that I attended school I was apart of 8 different organizations and all of them had a community service component. One of my favorite community service opportunities was the Mentoring Group I participated in called Royalty. Royalty was founded by some good girlfriends of mine who invited me onto their E-board their founding year.
The City of Huntsville is a very small town with nothing there except Correctional Facilitates (Yes, Jails). Like many places here in America, the city was made up of beautiful upper middle class neighborhoods, and of course a level of poverty right around the corner. Our Mentoring Hub was in the latter, at the Boys and Girls Club. Although there were many volunteers that frequently attended that Club, there were not many programs offered. My freshman year
I started 2 dance teams at that location and then Royalty came along, so I was well known by many of the parents there.
I started 2 dance teams at that location and then Royalty came along, so I was well known by many of the parents there.
The girl that I mentored was a mixed Hispanic and Black little girl. She was so fierce and sassy just like her mentor. I think they may have paired us together on purpose (lol). In the years we became very close and she really helped me see another side of life that was different from my sheltered upbringing. I was suppose to be helping her, but we ended up helping each other. I realized although stern, Im quite the push over. Me and my mentee would take trips to the mall, and buy clothes that may have been a little much for a 6 year old from forever 21, but she wanted it and I knew she wouldn't get it any other way so I would buy them. We would get our nails done have movie nights, anything you could do for fun in the town and sometimes out of it. I think I was the the dopest big sister but not the best mentor.
If I could do it over I would definitely do things different. I would focus on making her inside as beautiful as her outside. I would also give her life skills like being eager to use your manners whether you think it is to formal or not. How to be charming and captivating when you enter a room, and all those social secrets my parents blindly instilled in me.
Here are some other tips I reasearched that I think would make you a superb mentor!
1) Understand your role as a mentor prior to taking the role. Many people have asked me to be their mentor and I have shyed away because I could not tell what role it is that they wanted me to play. Do you just want to hang out with me, or is there something that you see in my career that you would like to imitate and just want to have me around for council? Either is perfectly fine, but you should know what it is they want up front so that you can serve your purpose!
2) Plan ahead to make time for the growth of your relationship. Being a mentor is usually not a paid gig which in turn is not always something you set on the highest list of priorities. Sometimes its an "every blue moon lets hook up relationship", however how conducive is that to either of you? Try and make time on a regular schedule to link up and just chat. It could be a Once a Quarter thing or a Once a week thing But make sure you dont leave a meetup without scheduling another meetup. Find a good sequence for the both of you.
3) Keep your conversations between the two of you. Kendrick Lamar said it best! "Loyalty, Loyalty, Loyalty". Whether good or bad the information you all discuss is between you both. You both may bare it all in the effort to be relatable and share your experience, and that's great however the information should stay there. Even though you may be proud that your mentee took the bar 4 times before becoming a lawyer; they may not be as proud of that statistic, so be sure you receive permission to share that information prior to doing so. If you can not help but share a story, try just saying "my mentee"(if you have multiple) or "a friend of mine" That way its generic and everyone's boundaries are respected.
4) Encurage your Mentee to in turn become a Mentor. Reaching back and pulling up the old version of yourself within someone else is good karma for being given a good mentor. Make sure you drive that information home to your mentee until they understand. There are way to many people just figuring it out on their own when there are plenty of experts in the field wanting to give back to the younger versions of themselves. Imagine how fastly we can all get further by mentoring our younger generation. It is a win for everyone involved.
Those of us who read this and realized they sucked as a mentor, it is not to late to turn that around, or even start over fresh. Being of assistance to someone else is a wonderful thing. Challenge yourself and your mentee to do better in 2018. Tell me your favorite mentor stories, Id love to hear from you guys!
Sincerely,
Mariyah Winfrey (Oprah is my Dream Mentor)
If I could do it over I would definitely do things different. I would focus on making her inside as beautiful as her outside. I would also give her life skills like being eager to use your manners whether you think it is to formal or not. How to be charming and captivating when you enter a room, and all those social secrets my parents blindly instilled in me.
Here are some other tips I reasearched that I think would make you a superb mentor!
1) Understand your role as a mentor prior to taking the role. Many people have asked me to be their mentor and I have shyed away because I could not tell what role it is that they wanted me to play. Do you just want to hang out with me, or is there something that you see in my career that you would like to imitate and just want to have me around for council? Either is perfectly fine, but you should know what it is they want up front so that you can serve your purpose!
2) Plan ahead to make time for the growth of your relationship. Being a mentor is usually not a paid gig which in turn is not always something you set on the highest list of priorities. Sometimes its an "every blue moon lets hook up relationship", however how conducive is that to either of you? Try and make time on a regular schedule to link up and just chat. It could be a Once a Quarter thing or a Once a week thing But make sure you dont leave a meetup without scheduling another meetup. Find a good sequence for the both of you.
3) Keep your conversations between the two of you. Kendrick Lamar said it best! "Loyalty, Loyalty, Loyalty". Whether good or bad the information you all discuss is between you both. You both may bare it all in the effort to be relatable and share your experience, and that's great however the information should stay there. Even though you may be proud that your mentee took the bar 4 times before becoming a lawyer; they may not be as proud of that statistic, so be sure you receive permission to share that information prior to doing so. If you can not help but share a story, try just saying "my mentee"(if you have multiple) or "a friend of mine" That way its generic and everyone's boundaries are respected.
4) Encurage your Mentee to in turn become a Mentor. Reaching back and pulling up the old version of yourself within someone else is good karma for being given a good mentor. Make sure you drive that information home to your mentee until they understand. There are way to many people just figuring it out on their own when there are plenty of experts in the field wanting to give back to the younger versions of themselves. Imagine how fastly we can all get further by mentoring our younger generation. It is a win for everyone involved.
Those of us who read this and realized they sucked as a mentor, it is not to late to turn that around, or even start over fresh. Being of assistance to someone else is a wonderful thing. Challenge yourself and your mentee to do better in 2018. Tell me your favorite mentor stories, Id love to hear from you guys!
Sincerely,
Mariyah Winfrey (Oprah is my Dream Mentor)
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